The Designated Asshole

This is going to be one of several articles I write attempting to describe the many roles of a producer during the recording process.  It’s going to take many articles to delve into the countless producer styles and techniques that are as varied as the bands they produce.  Personally, my role as a producer/engineer changes from project to project, day to day and minute to minute.  I often start projects firmly placed in one role (engineer) and am slowly brought into the producer role by the bands I’m working with.  This usually happens with bands that are producing themselves and don’t want a producer involved, mainly due to a misconception of what a producer actually does (or doesn’t do), or because of an experience with a bad producer on a previous recording.  

So, I did a lot of thinking about these types of projects and really wanted to define the most common producer role that I’m first asked to play as an engineer.  I was scratching my ass this morning trying to come up with the answer and it hit me- I’m almost always first asked to be what I like to call “The Designated Asshole” for bands that don’t have a producer.  (Who says word association doesn’t work??)  It was very important for me to single out the first producer task asked of me by bands without a producer, because I feel this is the moment that they realize that they need a producer….whether they actually realize it or not.

Now, this whole “Designated Asshole” thing isn’t what you think.  I don’t immediately don a Hitler mustache and gleefully hit the talkback button barking orders in broken English while randomly using words like ‘umlaut’ and ‘glockenspiel’.  Often it’s quite the opposite.  For example:  Jimmy (the singer) wants Johnny (the guitar player) to re-do his solo.  But Jimmy’s afraid to say anything to Johnny that may be misconstrued as a personal attack.  Why?  Because Jimmy banged Jenny (Johnny’s girlfriend) two years ago and evidently it’s still a “touchy” subject.  So- Jimmy asks me to ask Johnny to re-do his solo and something very cool happens: Johnny is so pumped that I care enough about their project to ask him to do it again that he rocks out a solo so good that it will make Jenny want to do ’that thing she does’ to Johnny’s ‘Little Jimmy’ over and over again.  On the other side of the glass, Jimmy lets out a sigh of relief after dodging the bullet, and heads for the lounge to grab a smoke and return one of Jenny’s many text messages.

Why the happy ending? (not that happy ending…yet!) Is it because I am smart enough to use discretion after banging Johnny’s girlfriend?  Nope. (but I am) It’s actually band psychology 101.  There is nothing personal between Johnny and me; the engineer (now producer).  I’m just there to make the best record possible, regardless of who’s sleeping with whom.  All of that stuff is just background noise to me (or any professional) and is not a motivating factor in my decision making process….and more importantly, my motives won’t be questioned by people in Johnny’s shoes.   I don’t have to tell you how incredibly deep bands’ relationships run, often back several years and several “Jenny’s”.   All of this baggage is part of being in a band- but it really gets in the way if you don’t have a handy-dandy “Designated Asshole” around to use as a buffer, a tie breaker on tough decisions, to take the blame on things from time to time, or redirect everyone when things get a little ugly.  

Here’s the real point to this whole article:  Take a guess what suffers if there isn’t a professional involved to act as a “Designated Asshole”?  You guessed it: the record, the fans, the sales, and the band.  Here’s the kicker:  The “Designated Asshole” is just one of the many parts of a producers’ “body” that bands can “use” to their “advantage” during the recording process. (am I the only one giggling at the accidental sexual undercurrent in my “anal”ogy???) ANYWAY- here’s the real happy ending: Avoid all this mess by involving a professional engineer.  If your band wants to produce yourselves-great.  But here’s a little tip from me to you: hire an engineer that you know produces in a way you like.  Have a conversation with him/her about your plans, and that you may need to lean on him/her from time to time to play some producer roles while engineering, upon request. Then have him/her factor that in to their rate structure if necessary.  This way, everyone is heading into the project with eyes wide open, and you’ll have someone you trust to lean on when the going gets tough- instead of learning a little too late that you are the “Designated Asshole”.

Chris Mara

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara