Rejection.
This article isn’t really about stuff that happens in a recording studio, or anything to do with recording at all really- so if you were all stoked to read about a stripper being carried around a control room on a saddle, too bad. (But let me tell you this: it was awesome!!)
Anywho…sometimes my “topic du jour” surfaces through conversations I have with bands. Sadly, this week’s thesis is a little light on strippers. Actually the theme that did emerge was rejection…
We’ve all heard the saying that rejection is a part of life- usually right before you get rejected; it’s like some sort of sick joke or something. You know, like Lou Gehrig dying from Lou Gehrigs Disease; what are the odds? Seriously though, being in the music industry as an artist kicks the rejection thing into overdrive. You really have to be able to deal with it, and the best way I’ve found to do that is to use it to your advantage. Huh? Read on kiddies- I haven’t gone crazy yet.
If you’re in a band and you not dealing with rejection it means one of two things: 1) you’re Sting. (why Sting? His wife brings chicks home for him to “play with”-the man hasn’t been rejected in over a decade) or 2) you’re not in a band that’s trying to go somewhere. It’s that simple. If you’re not getting rejected several times a day- then you’re not trying to reach the next level for your band. Personally I’d love to tell you that I don’t have to deal with rejection as an engineer, producer, or even as a writer. I do, and I deal with a frickin’ metric ton of it on a weekly basis. (think elephant) Am I ashamed of it? Hell no, it’s just part of doing business, part of life, part of relationships, part of the human condition. Here’s what I’ve learned about how to deal with it as effectively as possible without ending up in a padded cell:
Have a rejection quota- Why not add rejection to the long list of things we humans don’t understand but compulsively measure and document- like gravity (we don’t know exactly what it is, but we know how much of it is on Pluto—a planet we will most likely never, ever visit.) As a band-set your own weekly rejection quota, a.k.a “RQ”. For starters, set your RQ at no less than 15 times per week. Have some fun by breaking it down a bit- RQ by clubs 5 times per week, by labels 5 times per week, and by the press 5 times per week. This will help you stay on the phones and actually look forward to rejection, since you’ll be getting a nice variety.
Make sure you’re getting rejected by the right people- This is huge. Now that you’re getting a belly full of rejection- it’s time to analyze it a bit. This will help you to determine if the right people are rejecting you. A rejection from Capitol Records in Nashville won’t count towards your RQ if you’re in a rock band-you’re simply barking up the wrong tree. Knowing why you got rejected will really help to figure out how not to get rejected in the future. If you’re constantly getting rejected due to things like genre, you need to make some changes in who you’re asking to reject you. (see- this is FUN!) If your band does only original music and you’re getting rejected by clubs who don’t book original bands- find clubs that do and start getting rejected by them instead.
Ask questions in order to turn rejection into a relationship- Being in a band is a lot like being a stalker. (or so I’m told) If a club rejects you, for instance- ask what the basis for the decision was. Poor draw expectations? Press kit issues? Demo quality? When the rejecter gives you an answer- ask (or figure out) what you can do to overcome the issue. This will hopefully lead to a helpful conversation- so be cool. Keep your mouth shut and listen to the input- don’t argue with him/her, simply write down what they have to say and see if you can make those changes in order to play the club. After you make the suggested changes, you’ll be surprised at what will happen when you call back and say “hey Joe Clubowner - we spoke last month and you didn’t book us due to X. Well, we took your advice and now have Y- do you want to give us another shot?” Same goes for labels.
Strive to get rejected for the right reasons- Do what? Once you start identifying why you’re getting rejected and take the necessary steps to avoid future rejection for the same reasons- and start looking for the times you are rejected for the right reasons. This may seem like splitting hairs- but hey, that’s what nuclear fission is all about! (no wait, that’s splitting atoms) When you get to the point where you’re getting rejected by a club due to a scheduling conflict, or a label due to the fact that they already have an act similar to you- these are really good signs! It’s like getting shot down by a girl at the bar because she’s married. She’s all “I’d love to, but I’m married.” not “get away from me- you smell like feet.”
It’s all about finding the “Rejection Zen” of being rejected by the right people for the right reasons. That usually means that you’re being rejected based on an informed decision, not based on a misconception about your band. Once you successfully obtain feedback from people that have rejected you in the past, you can make decisions about which things to change to achieve your goals and which things not to change in order to keep your artistic integrity (like that nifty pony tail). Not everyone you deal with is going to be kind enough to let you know why you were rejected, so the fail-safe on staying sane and avoiding burnout is to judiciously use the following advice: “sometimes things don't work out like you plan because shit happens due to other people's shit”, so. DON”T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. And by the way, if anyone’s curious, my RQ has consistently been measured north of 160. Hell, I’m practically a Rejection Savant.
Peace Out.
Chris Mara
www.chrismara.com
www.myspace.com/chrismara